so explain again why im purple
no
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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