Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize