you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize