Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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