meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize