I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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