yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
