I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
