FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
