There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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