I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize