whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize