so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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