god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
