it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize