Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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