Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
