And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
