you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
