dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize