i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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