What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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