Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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