my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
