i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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