Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
