Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
