we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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