her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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