At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize