my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
