i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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