Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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