it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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