Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
