I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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