Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
