You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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