scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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