he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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