went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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