I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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