Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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