Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
