i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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