I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize