We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
