i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
