She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
