margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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