Define "chronic" masturbator.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
