your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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