But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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