Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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