I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
